quality, professional service with a little more than just a smile!

although we advertise as simply providing an unbeatable home maintenance service, we also provide SPECIAL services for our 'VGLYM' (Very Good Looking Yummy Mummy) customers!

'VGLYM' status is attainable via our 'HDT' (How Deep can you Throat it) ladder system. customers are given 3 chances to meet our qualifications, once approved, we offer 24/7 customer assistance, including the emergency response unit, for those times of desperate need, when 'tomorrow', just is'nt soon enough!

for those clients that did not get the 'HDT' approval, still have the oppertunity to provide us with your daughter-on-request(DOR). this will enable you to enjoy the 24/7 emergency response option. athough this option is subject to refusal at any time.

How long have we been in business?

None of your fucking business. if this raises issues for you, and you dont feel a sence of trust without knowing our history, well.... shut the fuck up you useless married hoar!
i dont have time for your meaningless inquiries

Please do note, if you are fat, ugly, difigured, or just really old, Please, save yourself time, and grief, by NOT CALLING ME!!!

not respecting these wishes, will result in penalty.

Penalties are given when and how i want. failure to comply, will result in......trust me, you dont want to let me down, i can get VERY FUCKING NASTY, and unless your into eating my fesces, i dont recommend taking this route.



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If you have any questions, comments or suggestions, please give us a call at 604-618-6845 or send an e-mail to: erstefunk@hotmail.com